I'm gonna have a badass scar
My nipple is on Facebook.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
