I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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