They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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