it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize