What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
