She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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