I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
