I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
