I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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