I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
