How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
