we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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