dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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