God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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