So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
