the condom got lost in my hair
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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