U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
