I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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