What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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