Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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