White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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