This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
