I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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