Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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