Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize