So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
