You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
