OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
