Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
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she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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