There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
