I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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