So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
