dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
