You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
