You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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