Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
