yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize