We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize