i just made my gag reflex go away.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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