apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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