A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
