Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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