i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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