I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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