I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
