A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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