There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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