she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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