So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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