i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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