doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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