Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If that was your dad, he is hot
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
