I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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