I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
