just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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