Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
