So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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