So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
