god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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