we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize